Clown free and proud i've been searching through photos on various sites looking for inspiration. i've seen several cool pictures but few that have really made me think "yeah, i could work with that." one of the ones that i found interesting (i even went back to look at it 3 times) was a close up of a Clown figurine. i don't have any great love for Clowns in general but it was a great picture. however, i know a certain someone that would cringe everytime he read my blog and we can't have that. so i hereby declare this a Clown-free enviornment. let the ribbon cutting commence.  ¶ 5:44 PM 0 Comments

  i was wondering how long it would take i dropped by figpaste today and while the new look is close to a month old at this point, it got me to thinking about mine and how i'm tired of the basic black look. at least i think i am. i might change my mind once i start working on a new one. i'm sure for some it's no more than a few hours work to throw together a new blog template but for me it's a good few days. testing and re-testing colors, fonts, and box widths. i'll try to remember to update you on how that's going but well there's a road i'm on filled with signs about good intentions. if you have any suggestions for the new look feel free to voice that in the comment box. i could always use a new idea.  ¶ 2:31 PM 0 Comments

  if only it would last... the bunny's been on a posting spree. well...he's at least posted twice in less than a week. something that was unheard of in the past few months. it's a shame really that he doesn't post more b/c when he's on top of his game the world is an entertaining place to say the least. go check it out for yourself.  ¶ 1:37 PM 0 Comments

  doing my civic duty what do you do when you see someone that needs help? if you're like me you do what you can to help. even if that means just passing the word along.  ¶ 2:27 AM 0 Comments

  the mysteries of the subconscious you ever have one of those dreams where you're having hot, sweaty, can't get your clothes off fast enough sex with one of your real life friends that you'd NEVER really have sex with? no? huh, yeah me neither.  ¶ 1:31 PM 0 Comments

  somethings are just too funny not to pass on if you haven't checked in on eurotrash lately, you should do that now. there's a piece published on jan 18th that i highly recommend.   ¶ 5:31 PM 0 Comments

  let the protesting begin as i was having lunch with the maternal unit today, we couldn't help but notice the crowds gathered round the television in the corner. ok so it wasn't really a crowd...more like three or four people. i'm not sure what you'd call that. an intimate gathering? whatever. on with the story...they were glued to the live telecast of the presidential inauguration or rather the protestors that lined the streets. now i think it's great that they got out on such a cold miserable day in washington DC to let they're opions be known. but isn't it a bit late? i mean really. do they think that bush will see a sign that says "their blood is on your hands!! bring our troops home." and think "damn...you know what? they're right. activate project carrier pigeon and get those boys back stateside." wouldn't it have made more sense to protest the entire last two years of his previous term with the goal of swaying more of the voters? it makes more sense to me that way but what do i know?  ¶ 5:05 PM 0 Comments

  so i lied i ran across this as i was talking myself out of a midnight snack and the extra pounds it would have deposited on my thighs by morning.   ¶ 3:57 AM 0 Comments

  it's in the works you may have noticed that i alluded to a post in my conversation with FV. i've finished about 2 pages of it in my blog journal. but everytime i pick it up to finish it, i get all pissed off again and my train of thought goes down the tubes. i'm thinking i'll have to publish it in a series of posts. otherwise it might not ever reach completion. until then i thought i'd give you some links to those that seem to have plenty to write about and actually follow through with it.

mr. fig reviews the classic film "gone with the wind."

couch spins of tale worthy of an oprah episode.

AL worries about the european influence.

the fish had a run in with what i presume were m&m's.

LS gives us a taste of what it's like to be on the other side of the lense.

this is a new site of interest...not blog rolled yet but possibly soon.

this one's going on the list.

well that should keep you busy for a few minutes. now move along there's nothing more to see here...at least not tonight.  ¶ 1:27 AM 0 Comments

  they've not all been crazy stalkers i found myself staring at the keypad of the phone trying to pry the correct combination from the recesses of my mind. after several seconds i gave in and retrieved it from my address book. once located the numbers dialed easily. two complete rings and a familiar voice (FV) answered.

FV: 'tech support'

chewy: 'so, when a post trashing everything tech support appears on my blog, you won't take that personally. Right?'

FV: 'of course not.' his voice meshing a touch of sarcasm with his obvious amusement in that way i've come to adore so much.

chewy: 'great. cause you know it's not directed towards you. i'm sure you're worth your salt as a tech support person.'

FV: 'of course.' again with the sarcasm not so much of the amusement.

chewy: 'how's things?'

FV: 'i've been sick actually. missed two days of work. that never happens.'

chewy: 'Holy Crap!' insert as much sarcasm as allowed by massachusetts' state law. you're free to toss as much of it around as you like here in hell...um...i mean arkansas. 'you should really call me the next time that happens. someone might need to plan your funeral and god knows i've got plenty of free time.'

FV: 'that's pretty morbid.'

chewy: 'yeah, i guess. it's not like i'm looking forward to it or anything.'

FV: 'i would hope not.... don't you worry. i plan on living to a nice ripe old age....'

chewy: 'oh yeah...and die on my couch. i remember now.'

FV: 'that's right and die on your couch.'

**due to lapses in memory and the cramp that's developing in my hand form actually having to write, this conversation has been edited. however, i think i covered most of the crucial points or at least enough to say what i'm writing this to say and still keep myself off FV's censored list.

i've run across few people in my life that i could talk to for more than twenty minutes and my eyes not glaze over. of those few there are even less that i care to talk to more than once a week. FV is one of the few of the few. in fact, there was a point when i received daily lunch time phone calls and was guaranteed a slurred middle of the night conversation with Mumbley McDrunky at least once a month. those were always the best.

sadly, life's change and friendships must adapt accordingly. i'm grateful that ours hasn't vanished altogether and he still says crazy things like he's going to die on my couch. while we both know it'll probably not work out quite that way, it's charming (almost enchantingly so) when someone makes plans to include you that far into their life.

there have been plenty (read: more than my fair share) of creeps, bad seeds, and freakazoids that have crossed my path in the last 28 years. i wouldn't trade it though. it makes me appreciate the friends i've stumbled across along the way and it was a very lucky day when that strange guy with a slight staring problem finally said more than "leaving already?"...a very lucky day indeed.


  ¶ 3:31 PM 0 Comments

  in the midnight hours i've written posts on my bouts with insomnia before. this one is for those that think it's internet related. i will readily admit that i've that on more than a few nights i've stayed up later than planned to play a game of literati (yahoo's version of scrabble) or to continue a conversation i wasn't quite ready to have end. however, having said that, i can now firmly and categorically deny that my insomnia is due to my inability to pry my arse from the front side of a square box filled with microchips, silicone, and processors.

this is day five or six of my internet accessless life and who do you think has dropped in for a cup of tea? why, yes, it IS my dear old friend insomnia. i came to bed around midnight and here it is creeping ever so closely towards the daylight hours. after an hour of tossing and turning, i considered the options that lay before me: admit defeat and embrace my sleeplessness or try and give my antibedfellow the slip. so here i sit begrudgingly embracing my insomnia as it was not to be deceived by my turning and tossing approach. Oh! for the days when a good ole switcharoo worked.


what do i plan to do with the time i've found on my hands? i'm going to read up on some medical information and when i've had all the symptoms, causes, and cures i can stand, i'm going to search for rutabaga recipes. i've never eaten a rutabaga nor do i plan to anytime soon. however, on the offhand chance i'm ever stuck somewhere and the fridge is barren save a 1/2 pint of not quite out of date cream and a sack of rutabagas, i plan on those being the best tasting rutabagas this side of the mississippi.

toddles for now as i have other pressing engagements. oh yes, i almost forgot. for those that are interested i burned the CSX's (formally known as the crazy stalker exboyfriend) bank statements.

  ¶ 2:24 PM 0 Comments

  what to do what to do...? it's amazing the things you come across when you start cleaning. for example this past week while i was sifting through boxes i've had stored at my mom's house for ages, i came across a box of bank statements and other pieces of mail that belong to the crazy-stalker guy that i was once engaged to. my first thought was to toss it into the discard pile without a second thought, until my damn conscience kicked in. i started thinking about all the identity theft that goes on these days and how his social security number and signature were in those envelopes. while i don't particularly care for this guy to say the least, i still wouldn't want him sent into identity fraud hell b/c i threw out his 10 y/o bank statements.

so now i'm at a loss as what i should do with them. do i return them to him at his place of employment since i'm in there rather frequently picking up stuff for dinner? do i mail them to his home and risk causing a kerfluffle between him and the misses? do i take the time and energy and shred them myself or toss them out as is and let whatever happens happen? i have a feeling they'll end up packed back up to taunt me years from now when i stumble across them in another cleaning spree.  ¶ 10:29 PM 0 Comments