out with the old in with the new happy new year. screw the resolutions just enjoy yourself.  ¶ 10:57 PM 0 Comments

  the irish that was it's hard to say which shone brighter
his eyes or his smile.
my attraction was fed by the lilt in his voice
and his easy laugh.
with one look
he could make an entire room full of people disappear.
with a touch
all my worries were washed away.
i was his
without hesitation.
he was mine
with all his irish charms.
forcing us down paths we didn't want to take,
life drove us apart.
paths of loneliness
and of frustration.
separated by time and distance
but connected now more than ever.
his eyes still shine at me...
through the eyes of my son.
and i smile at the memories
of the irish that was.

  ¶ 1:13 AM 1 Comments

  season of rememberence i'll never forget
the colour
of your eyes
or
the way your face
lights up
when you smile.
years have passed
since i last felt
your touch.
still,
i think of you
always.
  ¶ 1:08 AM 0 Comments

  rest in peace

it was a sad day for all law and order fans when jerry orbach walked off the set for the last time. that sadness is nothing compared to that which accompanies the news of his death. the associated press had this to say:

Jerry Orbach had a gift for charming audiences his entire career — first as a song-and-dance man who starred in musicals on and off Broadway, then for 12 years as a sharp-tongued cop on TV's "Law & Order."
Orbach, who died of prostate cancer Tuesday in Manhattan, was beginning another chapter at age 69: He had taken his signature role as Detective Lennie Briscoe to NBC's upcoming spinoff "Law & Order: Trial By Jury."

With his hangdog puss and loose-limbed gait, Orbach was unmatched at playing the street-smart tough guy. A quintessential New Yorker, he personified his city's well-worn but implacable edge, embodying the Big Apple like few other actors.

Orbach's long-time "Law & Order" co-star, S. Epatha Merkerson, remembered him as "as a real good guy who knew everything and everybody. He had a real lust for life and the work he did, and it permeated throughout the set."

Of course, he presented quite a different picture as the world-weary, recovering alcoholic Briscoe. But even as Briscoe drooped from the burden of everything he'd encountered, both on and off the job, he sized up life with sarcastic asides. For instance, standing over a fresh body on which a receipt from a fancy restaurant was found, he muttered: "Dinner for two? Hope he enjoyed it."

few people know that i'm a huge fan of law and order and an even bigger fan of jerry's character lennie briscoe. i passed up many nights of guinness for back to back law and order episodes on tnt. i'll grieve jerry's passing indefinitely.  ¶ 11:15 PM 0 Comments

  cookies crumble and milk gets spilt life doesn't always work out the way you would like or think it should. mine's certainly no exception. i left austin last may with the plan of visiting my family in arkansas for a month...two at the most. December is almost over now and here i sit in the town where i grew up. digesting the knowledge that i'll be here another 3 months at the least and searching for that part of me that sees the silver lining in even the darkest of clouds.

i don't wear this town/state well. it washes me out and it clings too tightly in places while hanging too loosely in others. i found an entry in a journal i started a year or three ago. the description is still perfect:

"they say you can never go home again. for some that may not be true, for me it is. the place most of my family and friends refer to as my home is a place i find confining. suffocating. a place where i don't fit. not exactly how i'd describe home."

it's hard for me to see the joy in their faces each time my stay gets extended. not because i'm not happy to be wanted but because i know how hard it will be for them when i leave. i see them clinging to the hope that their old friend will change her mind and stay. what they can't see is she's already gone.  ¶ 10:41 PM 0 Comments