Sunday, September 19, 2004
slacking off on the blog
i've got a little catching up to do. i know. however, at the moment i have to drag my pajama clad body out of this chair and get my self ready for the funeral i'm suppose to attend at 2. it's a little after 1 now.
one of my closest friend's (sam) younger sister (sue ellen) passed away on friday. she was 24 and a victim of lupus. it's not suppose to work like that is it?
sam has seen so much tragedy in her lifetime. i'm not sure how she makes it through the day anymore. her mom died suddenly when she was still in high school. two of her aunts and a cousin were killed by a drunk driver shortly after. her dad passed away exactly two months ago and now sue ellen. it reminds me of how lucky i really am and makes me feel a tad bit guilty as well for all the things i take for granted.
update:
the service was nice, as far as funeral services go. i skipped the luncheon as i was in dire need of a nap. i felt a twinge of guilt over my decision to proceed directly to my car instead of waiting around to say my goodbyes to sam. as it turned out it was the best plan of action. as i had guessed the group that had gathered outside the funeral home swarmed the family as they exited.
i do so understand everyone's need to be comforting and such but there are times when you just have to walk away. get in your car and drive to where ever it is you feel you need to go and let the object of your sympathy gather themselves and their thoughts. for me, there's nothing worse than having to deal with people when i can barely deal with the unsettling event i've just endured. when i need to talk and am ready to deal with life again, i'll call, email, or send you an engraved invitation. sam feels the same way. all she really wanted to do after the service was take her family home and mourn in the silence and comfort of her home. what she did was the polite and socially expected thing...paste on her best i'm not dying inside smile, attend the luncheon in her sister's honor and pretend to listen to sugar coated condolences meant to ease her suffering. i'm not sure i would have been as gracious.
she called me later, after the hustle and bustle had died down. thanked me for coming and not staying. asked me if i cared for any fried chicken as she ended up with the leftovers from the luncheon. told me how she'd called her uncle and asked to speak to sue ellen. caught the confusion in her uncle's voice and said "oh yeah...i was calling to see if she wanted any chicken." i laughed because she needed me too and there is a tad bit or warped humor in calling to see if your recently deceased sister would care for any chicken.
we scheduled dinner for wednesday. i'm sure she'll be tired of chicken by then. ¶ 1:05 PM
one of my closest friend's (sam) younger sister (sue ellen) passed away on friday. she was 24 and a victim of lupus. it's not suppose to work like that is it?
sam has seen so much tragedy in her lifetime. i'm not sure how she makes it through the day anymore. her mom died suddenly when she was still in high school. two of her aunts and a cousin were killed by a drunk driver shortly after. her dad passed away exactly two months ago and now sue ellen. it reminds me of how lucky i really am and makes me feel a tad bit guilty as well for all the things i take for granted.
update:
the service was nice, as far as funeral services go. i skipped the luncheon as i was in dire need of a nap. i felt a twinge of guilt over my decision to proceed directly to my car instead of waiting around to say my goodbyes to sam. as it turned out it was the best plan of action. as i had guessed the group that had gathered outside the funeral home swarmed the family as they exited.
i do so understand everyone's need to be comforting and such but there are times when you just have to walk away. get in your car and drive to where ever it is you feel you need to go and let the object of your sympathy gather themselves and their thoughts. for me, there's nothing worse than having to deal with people when i can barely deal with the unsettling event i've just endured. when i need to talk and am ready to deal with life again, i'll call, email, or send you an engraved invitation. sam feels the same way. all she really wanted to do after the service was take her family home and mourn in the silence and comfort of her home. what she did was the polite and socially expected thing...paste on her best i'm not dying inside smile, attend the luncheon in her sister's honor and pretend to listen to sugar coated condolences meant to ease her suffering. i'm not sure i would have been as gracious.
she called me later, after the hustle and bustle had died down. thanked me for coming and not staying. asked me if i cared for any fried chicken as she ended up with the leftovers from the luncheon. told me how she'd called her uncle and asked to speak to sue ellen. caught the confusion in her uncle's voice and said "oh yeah...i was calling to see if she wanted any chicken." i laughed because she needed me too and there is a tad bit or warped humor in calling to see if your recently deceased sister would care for any chicken.
we scheduled dinner for wednesday. i'm sure she'll be tired of chicken by then. ¶ 1:05 PM
