Saturday, July 31, 2004
Jaded
In 28 day's i'll be 3...wait that's not right...in 3 days i'll be 28 or something like that anyway. in all those years i've been called a lot of different things but never jaded. not to my knowledge. that is until last week when some guy that would like to be more than just some guy (SG) let it slip. maybe it was the tightening of my jaw or maybe he just realized that might not be the best thing to tell the girl you're wanting to be more than friends with. whatever it was, he did try to recover quickly after those fateful words were uttered. albeit a sad attempt at recovery..."well, i mean everyone's jaded to some extent...blah...blah...blah..." HEH! not so fast SG, ole buddy, ole pal. the comment has been made, logged, noted, cross referenced and sent to the committee to determine your fate. and considering their lack of guinness these days, it's not looking good for the likes of you.
i've received my share of pokes, jabs, and stabs in my lifetime from various individuals. some valid, some not. however, this particular comment did make my short list of comments/critiques that cause me to reflect on myself and question am i really...in this case jaded?
before i could answer that, i had to relive a bit of history. i've been dumped by three long term BF's that all promptly (less than 12 months) married someone named angie. I attract more freaks than a website advertising leather clad, bondage loving teen girls getting there freak on with lassie, benji, toto, and spuds mckenzie. the times i've been told i'm charming, beautiful, exotic, intelligent, etc. by men that would pause if you asked if i had eyes but would not miss a beat to an inquiry of my bra size are innumerable. i've been lied to, cheated on, stalked, ignored, smothered, and used all by men that claimed to love me. and yet i still try and think i manage pretty well to give every new applicant a fair shake. but if the signs say cleveland X number of miles, even if you're standing in utah, you can bet that's where the road is going to take you. if learning from past experiences and following my instinct means i'm jaded. fine. jaded i'll be. but by god, i'm not going to cleveland just to appease you.
*signing out humming a bit from aerosmith's just push play album... "and i'm the one jaded you..."
¶ 9:51 AM
i've received my share of pokes, jabs, and stabs in my lifetime from various individuals. some valid, some not. however, this particular comment did make my short list of comments/critiques that cause me to reflect on myself and question am i really...in this case jaded?
before i could answer that, i had to relive a bit of history. i've been dumped by three long term BF's that all promptly (less than 12 months) married someone named angie. I attract more freaks than a website advertising leather clad, bondage loving teen girls getting there freak on with lassie, benji, toto, and spuds mckenzie. the times i've been told i'm charming, beautiful, exotic, intelligent, etc. by men that would pause if you asked if i had eyes but would not miss a beat to an inquiry of my bra size are innumerable. i've been lied to, cheated on, stalked, ignored, smothered, and used all by men that claimed to love me. and yet i still try and think i manage pretty well to give every new applicant a fair shake. but if the signs say cleveland X number of miles, even if you're standing in utah, you can bet that's where the road is going to take you. if learning from past experiences and following my instinct means i'm jaded. fine. jaded i'll be. but by god, i'm not going to cleveland just to appease you.
*signing out humming a bit from aerosmith's just push play album... "and i'm the one jaded you..."
¶ 9:51 AM
