watermelon memories

house keeping

2005-02-20T03:47:00.000-05:00

if you notice that things look a little odd or out of place, have no fear. i'm working on a few things that are beyond my limited capabilities with the help of my super-hero techy friend james. it'll all be sorted out and back to normal with some added improvements very soon.

As promised...Tech Support part I

2005-02-18T21:01:00.000-05:00

this past week i've spent countless hours on the phone with "tech supporters" of several of the big IT companies. it all started when i inserted the installation disk to the nifty-cool, sleek & stylish, super-fast printer my mom purchased. (it's not the first time i've installed software/hardware nor am i an idiot. i have references to verify the last part of that statement.) everything was running along smoothly until i had to plug in the USB cord that connects the printer to the computer. ERROR-REQUIRED ACTION WAS NOT FOUND IN THE INF. Much to my grandmother's dismay, i chose medicine over computer technology. translation: i have no clue what an INF is or why a so-called "required" action would be missing from it. never the less i know a few tricks of the trade. uninstall software, unplug device, restart and re-install software. ERROR-REQUIRED ACTION WAS NOT FOUND IN THE INF. (shit.) repeat last trick. ERROR...dammit. hmmm...wonder if i click the continue to installation w/o plugging in device button...install runs for countless hours before finally confirming completion. (damn, i'm good.) restart computer. plug in printer. new hardware found. (we're cooking with grease now.) complete installation?...click. (OH for the LOVE OF HUMANITY!!!) ERROR-REQUIRED ACTION WAS...well, you know. (time for a smoke break.) uninstall software. leave printer plugged in. restart. re-install. yeah, that didn't work either. consulted a few techy friends that i've acquired over the years. still i have a very large and cumbersome paper weight designed to look like a printer. a few choice words are mumbled as i reach for the phone and dial the dreaded number. i shove the voice in my head into the "lost artifacts" corner. although severely muffled by geometric theorems and names i use to be able to match with faces, the warning cries of past tech support disasters can still be heard.

to be cont'd....

**please don't bother leaving me serious advice on how to fix the above problem as i've already sorted it out and my printer functions as an actual printer instead of a paper weight.

redressed

2005-02-16T02:40:00.000-05:00

it started out as just a vision in my head. but once i got to playing with it, i couldn't let it go. for those of use that use firefox/mozilla the desired effect is a bit askew. my limited coding abilities weren't enough to make the header image line up with the background image properly. i'll work on it...maybe. until then just imagine the header's shifted left 40px or so and up 4px. i'm sure some of you are wondering what's with me and the feet. especially those of you that were around for the little black blog. all i can say is i chose the pictures based on aesthetics and not b/c they involved feet. i think this one might hang around for a while but then you just never know. however, there will be NO CLOWNS. end of story.

i'm not in the mood to make up a title

2005-02-14T00:57:00.000-05:00

there are things i know about myself. i'm smart, talented, a hard worker (when it suits me), and a good listener (also when it suits me.) i also know i don't take compliments well. i have over time learned to smile and say thanks instead of arguing the point or countering with one of my many flaws. but if one were to look closely, behind the smile, they might catch the sadness in the recesses of my eyes. sadness that is left from the ghosts of my past. ghosts that still haunt me...creeping from the shadows of my mind to pick at the scabs of my tattered soul.

i can't remember what compelled me to write the above passage. i can't even say for sure what night it was that i scribbled those words into my blog post journal. i have some vague recollection of writing it and thinking that i would finish it the next morning. as you can see that didn't quite happen and now i have no clue where i was headed. i decided to post it anyway b/c well...i needed something to do and most of the blogs i read on a regular basis were left unattended today.

as for my night at the seedy redneck bar, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. in fact compared to the other nights i've been out and about in this town, it was rather enjoyable. i might even go again at somepoint but don't hold me to that.

returning to normal

2005-02-12T17:58:00.000-05:00

the blahs have vanished for the most part. now if that pile of laundry would do the same. i'm venturing out tonight to see my sister's father's band play. i have reservations about the local...seedy redneck bars aren't exactly my thing. it should be an adventure if nothing else.

out of sorts

2005-02-09T14:13:00.000-05:00

i feel ashen, washed out, detached and just plain blah. unless there's some miraculous change between now and midnight there will be no further posts today. unless of course someone pisses me off which is highly likely in my current mood.

things i've learned as a mother #2

2005-02-08T15:48:00.000-05:00

inspite of all the cute toys with flashing lights and sounds, the most popular amusement for punkin is something a little less flashy.

my mother likes to say we buy all the toys so other people don't think he's mistreated. forced to play with common objects and all. i think we buy them so i'll have something to step on in the middle of the night as i stumble to the kitchen to retrieve punkin's midnight snack.

email for thugs???

2005-02-08T15:22:00.000-05:00

or g-mail as it's more commonly referred to. i have to admit that i really have no idea what g-mail is nor do i really care. i have 5 different email accounts that i check regularly and another 2 or 3 that i've never once checked. i don't see any need to add another to my list...especially one that seems to teeter between gang initiation and an elitist cult. which brings me to what puzzles me most about this g-mail, why are huge numbers of invites being waved around the internet world. "if anyone's interested i've got 12 g-mail invites." "oh by the way, i've got 26 g-mail invites if you'd like to have one." and so on it goes. correct me if i'm wrong, but doesn't that seem a bit odd? if you have to have an "invite", wouldn't you want to be more careful about who you passed those invites on to? and why does it seem like they're as hard to get rid of as tickets to a bad off-broadway production to "Annie"?

hat trick

2005-02-08T02:30:00.000-05:00

i passed a milestone in CSS tonight. i actually managed to pull off a three columned blog template. nothing worth writing home about mind you but i'm still quite pleased with myself nonetheless. speaking of CSS if i'm a little slow in posting in the near future you can bet it's because i'm working on the other side of the blog. not necessarily this one but you get the drift.

happy thoughts for heather & CS

2005-02-07T16:59:00.000-05:00

Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston.

everyone else think with me.

Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston. Boston.

things i've learned as a mother #1

2005-02-05T21:09:00.000-05:00

one of the first things i learned as a mother is that stuff is important. keep in mind that before i became a mother 3/4s of my worldly possessions were in a small storage building in memphis. the other quater fit somewhat neatly in my mitsibushi eclipse and travelled from memphis to boston to tucson back to boston and then finally to austin. post baby i needed a large u-haul. there are things that i accuired from the attendents of my baby shower that i still haven't found very useful but below is a list of things that i wouldn't want to live without.

the hands free, back saving, sling*:

*you can find similar models for less money at target.

Ocean Wonders Aquarium:

the punkin won't go to sleep without it.

the lil' people farm:

minimal noise factor and hours of entertainment. granted it's interupted hours but parents take what parents can get.

the lil' people ark:

no noise...other than pieces being banged together. endless entertainment. punkin doesn't travel without mr. noah and one of the zebras.

there will be more to follow. this post has been interupted by an emergency trip to hell...also read walmart.

plagiarism

2005-02-05T20:39:00.000-05:00

i'm not so full of myself as to think that any of the crap i put here is worthy of being plagiarized. however i do check copyscape every once in a while just to be sure i'm not wrong. on my visit today i found that of course i haven't been stolen from but i also found this:

of course i had to have one. if you'd like one go visit the folks at copyscape. they have a variety of shapes and colors to choose from to fit almost any blog design

i have friends that rock!!

2005-02-05T01:49:00.000-05:00

oodles of thanks to larry who recoded my google script so that it fits nicely on my page and more importantly got rid of those stupid %(domain)s buttons!!! thanks also to james who helped me match my colors perfectly with the background image!!

add-ons galore

2005-02-04T16:56:00.000-05:00

free time is certainly not at a premium these days. so today i killed a couple of hours searching for blog add-ons. i've added a nifty new site/stat counter and a slightly frustrating google search bar. i say frustrating b/c it claimed i would have the option to search my site as opposed to the entire WWW. it might be my browser, user error, or maybe i'm just not google searchable. i'm more inclined to think they lied. whatever the case maybe, google now has a spot on my page if for no other reason than i use it quite frequently. i'm toying with a few other add-ons but i don't want to go overboard. there's nothing worse to me than a cluttered site. well maybe pants that ride up or underwear that slide down but other than that.... now go google something like monkeys with mullets, fried spinach with strawberry syrup, or intelligent phrases from george w. bush. i wouldn't expect many hits on that last suggestion but just GOOGLE damn it.

2005-02-02T19:07:00.000-05:00

happy 82nd birthday to one of the most influential people in my life, virginia callicott.

back in business

2005-02-01T03:56:00.000-05:00

as you can see the remodeling project is complete and i'm pleased with the finished product. i'm sure there will be those that don't care for it and to them i say, "get your own damn blog and YOU can decorate IT anyway you'd like!!!"

Clown free and proud

2005-01-31T17:44:00.000-05:00

i've been searching through photos on various sites looking for inspiration. i've seen several cool pictures but few that have really made me think "yeah, i could work with that." one of the ones that i found interesting (i even went back to look at it 3 times) was a close up of a Clown figurine. i don't have any great love for Clowns in general but it was a great picture. however, i know a certain someone that would cringe everytime he read my blog and we can't have that. so i hereby declare this a Clown-free enviornment. let the ribbon cutting commence.

i was wondering how long it would take

2005-01-31T14:31:00.000-05:00

i dropped by figpaste today and while the new look is close to a month old at this point, it got me to thinking about mine and how i'm tired of the basic black look. at least i think i am. i might change my mind once i start working on a new one. i'm sure for some it's no more than a few hours work to throw together a new blog template but for me it's a good few days. testing and re-testing colors, fonts, and box widths. i'll try to remember to update you on how that's going but well there's a road i'm on filled with signs about good intentions. if you have any suggestions for the new look feel free to voice that in the comment box. i could always use a new idea.

if only it would last...

2005-01-26T13:37:00.000-05:00

the bunny's been on a posting spree. well...he's at least posted twice in less than a week. something that was unheard of in the past few months. it's a shame really that he doesn't post more b/c when he's on top of his game the world is an entertaining place to say the least. go check it out for yourself.

doing my civic duty

2005-01-24T02:27:00.000-05:00

what do you do when you see someone that needs help? if you're like me you do what you can to help. even if that means just passing the word along.

the mysteries of the subconscious

2005-01-21T13:31:00.000-05:00

you ever have one of those dreams where you're having hot, sweaty, can't get your clothes off fast enough sex with one of your real life friends that you'd NEVER really have sex with? no? huh, yeah me neither.

somethings are just too funny not to pass on

2005-01-20T17:31:00.000-05:00

if you haven't checked in on eurotrash lately, you should do that now. there's a piece published on jan 18th that i highly recommend.

let the protesting begin

2005-01-20T17:05:00.000-05:00

as i was having lunch with the maternal unit today, we couldn't help but notice the crowds gathered round the television in the corner. ok so it wasn't really a crowd...more like three or four people. i'm not sure what you'd call that. an intimate gathering? whatever. on with the story...they were glued to the live telecast of the presidential inauguration or rather the protestors that lined the streets. now i think it's great that they got out on such a cold miserable day in washington DC to let they're opions be known. but isn't it a bit late? i mean really. do they think that bush will see a sign that says "their blood is on your hands!! bring our troops home." and think "damn...you know what? they're right. activate project carrier pigeon and get those boys back stateside." wouldn't it have made more sense to protest the entire last two years of his previous term with the goal of swaying more of the voters? it makes more sense to me that way but what do i know?

so i lied

2005-01-19T03:57:00.000-05:00

i ran across this as i was talking myself out of a midnight snack and the extra pounds it would have deposited on my thighs by morning.

it's in the works

2005-01-19T01:27:00.000-05:00

you may have noticed that i alluded to a post in my conversation with FV. i've finished about 2 pages of it in my blog journal. but everytime i pick it up to finish it, i get all pissed off again and my train of thought goes down the tubes. i'm thinking i'll have to publish it in a series of posts. otherwise it might not ever reach completion. until then i thought i'd give you some links to those that seem to have plenty to write about and actually follow through with it.

mr. fig reviews the classic film "gone with the wind."

couch spins of tale worthy of an oprah episode.

AL worries about the european influence.

the fish had a run in with what i presume were m&m's.

LS gives us a taste of what it's like to be on the other side of the lense.

this is a new site of interest...not blog rolled yet but possibly soon.

this one's going on the list.

well that should keep you busy for a few minutes. now move along there's nothing more to see here...at least not tonight.

they've not all been crazy stalkers

2005-01-14T15:31:00.000-05:00

i found myself staring at the keypad of the phone trying to pry the correct combination from the recesses of my mind. after several seconds i gave in and retrieved it from my address book. once located the numbers dialed easily. two complete rings and a familiar voice (FV) answered.

FV: 'tech support'

chewy: 'so, when a post trashing everything tech support appears on my blog, you won't take that personally. Right?'

FV: 'of course not.' his voice meshing a touch of sarcasm with his obvious amusement in that way i've come to adore so much.

chewy: 'great. cause you know it's not directed towards you. i'm sure you're worth your salt as a tech support person.'

FV: 'of course.' again with the sarcasm not so much of the amusement.

chewy: 'how's things?'

FV: 'i've been sick actually. missed two days of work. that never happens.'

chewy: 'Holy Crap!' insert as much sarcasm as allowed by massachusetts' state law. you're free to toss as much of it around as you like here in hell...um...i mean arkansas. 'you should really call me the next time that happens. someone might need to plan your funeral and god knows i've got plenty of free time.'

FV: 'that's pretty morbid.'

chewy: 'yeah, i guess. it's not like i'm looking forward to it or anything.'

FV: 'i would hope not.... don't you worry. i plan on living to a nice ripe old age....'

chewy: 'oh yeah...and die on my couch. i remember now.'

FV: 'that's right and die on your couch.'

**due to lapses in memory and the cramp that's developing in my hand form actually having to write, this conversation has been edited. however, i think i covered most of the crucial points or at least enough to say what i'm writing this to say and still keep myself off FV's censored list.

i've run across few people in my life that i could talk to for more than twenty minutes and my eyes not glaze over. of those few there are even less that i care to talk to more than once a week. FV is one of the few of the few. in fact, there was a point when i received daily lunch time phone calls and was guaranteed a slurred middle of the night conversation with Mumbley McDrunky at least once a month. those were always the best.

sadly, life's change and friendships must adapt accordingly. i'm grateful that ours hasn't vanished altogether and he still says crazy things like he's going to die on my couch. while we both know it'll probably not work out quite that way, it's charming (almost enchantingly so) when someone makes plans to include you that far into their life.

there have been plenty (read: more than my fair share) of creeps, bad seeds, and freakazoids that have crossed my path in the last 28 years. i wouldn't trade it though. it makes me appreciate the friends i've stumbled across along the way and it was a very lucky day when that strange guy with a slight staring problem finally said more than "leaving already?"...a very lucky day indeed.

in the midnight hours

2005-01-14T14:24:00.000-05:00

i've written posts on my bouts with insomnia before. this one is for those that think it's internet related. i will readily admit that i've that on more than a few nights i've stayed up later than planned to play a game of literati (yahoo's version of scrabble) or to continue a conversation i wasn't quite ready to have end. however, having said that, i can now firmly and categorically deny that my insomnia is due to my inability to pry my arse from the front side of a square box filled with microchips, silicone, and processors.

this is day five or six of my internet accessless life and who do you think has dropped in for a cup of tea? why, yes, it IS my dear old friend insomnia. i came to bed around midnight and here it is creeping ever so closely towards the daylight hours. after an hour of tossing and turning, i considered the options that lay before me: admit defeat and embrace my sleeplessness or try and give my antibedfellow the slip. so here i sit begrudgingly embracing my insomnia as it was not to be deceived by my turning and tossing approach. Oh! for the days when a good ole switcharoo worked.

what do i plan to do with the time i've found on my hands? i'm going to read up on some medical information and when i've had all the symptoms, causes, and cures i can stand, i'm going to search for rutabaga recipes. i've never eaten a rutabaga nor do i plan to anytime soon. however, on the offhand chance i'm ever stuck somewhere and the fridge is barren save a 1/2 pint of not quite out of date cream and a sack of rutabagas, i plan on those being the best tasting rutabagas this side of the mississippi.

toddles for now as i have other pressing engagements. oh yes, i almost forgot. for those that are interested i burned the CSX's (formally known as the crazy stalker exboyfriend) bank statements.

what to do what to do...?

2005-01-02T22:29:00.000-05:00

it's amazing the things you come across when you start cleaning. for example this past week while i was sifting through boxes i've had stored at my mom's house for ages, i came across a box of bank statements and other pieces of mail that belong to the crazy-stalker guy that i was once engaged to. my first thought was to toss it into the discard pile without a second thought, until my damn conscience kicked in. i started thinking about all the identity theft that goes on these days and how his social security number and signature were in those envelopes. while i don't particularly care for this guy to say the least, i still wouldn't want him sent into identity fraud hell b/c i threw out his 10 y/o bank statements.

so now i'm at a loss as what i should do with them. do i return them to him at his place of employment since i'm in there rather frequently picking up stuff for dinner? do i mail them to his home and risk causing a kerfluffle between him and the misses? do i take the time and energy and shred them myself or toss them out as is and let whatever happens happen? i have a feeling they'll end up packed back up to taunt me years from now when i stumble across them in another cleaning spree.

out with the old in with the new

2004-12-31T22:57:00.000-05:00

happy new year. screw the resolutions just enjoy yourself.

the irish that was

2004-12-31T01:13:00.000-05:00

it's hard to say which shone brighter
his eyes or his smile.
my attraction was fed by the lilt in his voice
and his easy laugh.
with one look
he could make an entire room full of people disappear.
with a touch
all my worries were washed away.
i was his
without hesitation.
he was mine
with all his irish charms.
forcing us down paths we didn't want to take,
life drove us apart.
paths of loneliness
and of frustration.
separated by time and distance
but connected now more than ever.
his eyes still shine at me...
through the eyes of my son.
and i smile at the memories
of the irish that was.

season of rememberence

2004-12-31T01:08:00.000-05:00

i'll never forget
the colour
of your eyes
or
the way your face
lights up
when you smile.
years have passed
since i last felt
your touch.
still,
i think of you
always.

rest in peace

2004-12-29T23:15:00.000-05:00

it was a sad day for all law and order fans when jerry orbach walked off the set for the last time. that sadness is nothing compared to that which accompanies the news of his death. the associated press had this to say:

Jerry Orbach had a gift for charming audiences his entire career first as a song-and-dance man who starred in musicals on and off Broadway, then for 12 years as a sharp-tongued cop on TV's "Law & Order."
Orbach, who died of prostate cancer Tuesday in Manhattan, was beginning another chapter at age 69: He had taken his signature role as Detective Lennie Briscoe to NBC's upcoming spinoff "Law & Order: Trial By Jury."

With his hangdog puss and loose-limbed gait, Orbach was unmatched at playing the street-smart tough guy. A quintessential New Yorker, he personified his city's well-worn but implacable edge, embodying the Big Apple like few other actors.

Orbach's long-time "Law & Order" co-star, S. Epatha Merkerson, remembered him as "as a real good guy who knew everything and everybody. He had a real lust for life and the work he did, and it permeated throughout the set."

Of course, he presented quite a different picture as the world-weary, recovering alcoholic Briscoe. But even as Briscoe drooped from the burden of everything he'd encountered, both on and off the job, he sized up life with sarcastic asides. For instance, standing over a fresh body on which a receipt from a fancy restaurant was found, he muttered: "Dinner for two? Hope he enjoyed it."

few people know that i'm a huge fan of law and order and an even bigger fan of jerry's character lennie briscoe. i passed up many nights of guinness for back to back law and order episodes on tnt. i'll grieve jerry's passing indefinitely.

cookies crumble and milk gets spilt

2004-12-28T22:41:00.000-05:00

life doesn't always work out the way you would like or think it should. mine's certainly no exception. i left austin last may with the plan of visiting my family in arkansas for a month...two at the most. December is almost over now and here i sit in the town where i grew up. digesting the knowledge that i'll be here another 3 months at the least and searching for that part of me that sees the silver lining in even the darkest of clouds.

i don't wear this town/state well. it washes me out and it clings too tightly in places while hanging too loosely in others. i found an entry in a journal i started a year or three ago. the description is still perfect:

"they say you can never go home again. for some that may not be true, for me it is. the place most of my family and friends refer to as my home is a place i find confining. suffocating. a place where i don't fit. not exactly how i'd describe home."

it's hard for me to see the joy in their faces each time my stay gets extended. not because i'm not happy to be wanted but because i know how hard it will be for them when i leave. i see them clinging to the hope that their old friend will change her mind and stay. what they can't see is she's already gone.

pet peeve #23

2004-11-22T14:14:00.000-05:00

there are several things that make the muscles in my jaw tighten up. christmas lights and or decorations put up before thanksgiving is one of them. as is leaving them up after the new year has come and gone. scrooge you say? don't get me wrong, i like christmas as much as the next person. however, i think 2 months is a little long for any celebration. you want to put your lights up the day after thanksgiving? fine. you want to leave them up til the 4th or 5th of january? fine. hell if you don't want to take them down at all i don't care but, for the love of god, you don't have to plug them in. as far as i know, there's no rule that states that lights of christmas merriment must be plugged in and turned on as long as they are still strewn around your yard. as far as turning them on before thanksgiving has come and gone well that's just rude. would it kill you to let it have it's day without screaming in face "thanksgiving, you're merely a second rate holiday that's only real purpose these days is to allow people to test out recipes before the REAL holiday gets there." sheesh. is it spring yet?

for those that are interested

2004-11-16T19:05:00.000-05:00

new pictures of aiden have been posted.

do i need a note from my doctor?

2004-11-16T19:00:00.000-05:00

i wish i could use the foxes excuse for the lack of posts. however, i just haven't bothered. plain and simple. i've written one or two down in hard copy form so it's not like i'm lacking for material. i've just been lazy.

still wiping the sleep from my eyes

2004-10-28T12:48:00.000-05:00

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

euphoria

2004-10-28T00:24:00.000-05:00

i'm still in shock as i'm sure most red sox fans are. not only did they win the series they fuckin' swept it. sadly, i missed the game...i won't bore you with the details of how i missed the most important game of the century. that's not really important anyway. what is important is the sox finally followed through with all the promise and in turn made up for the many heartbreaks and upsets that we as fans have endured over the years. what i wouldn't have give to have been down at the local in Q-town drinking beers with the gang tonight. hell, i might have even had a high-life or two.

more tomorrow when hopefully my brain can think of something to say other than "THE SOX WON!!! THE SOX WON!!! THE SOX WON!!!" until i run out of text space.

dare i say it?

2004-10-27T09:50:00.000-05:00

no, i just can't bring myself to do it. 3 games ahead in a 7 game series and i'm still afraid to think that it REALLY could happen. this is what being a fan of that certain team from boston does to you. you want it. you know they can do it. yet, you've been here before and you've watched your dreams be smashed by the opposition's bats and what's left of your hope slips through the gloves of those you support. enough of that lest i upset the baseball jesus.

game 4. let's play ball.

2004-10-23T13:04:00.000-05:00

there are still a few good email jokes out there...

oh ye of little faith

2004-10-21T10:36:00.000-05:00

immediately after my last post i had a conversation with the sister. somewhere i've gone wrong in my guidance of the young girl. i can only hope the damage isn't permanent.

are conversation via instant message...

me: the sox won again last night. now, it's off to the world series.

sister: that's great

sister: who did they play

me: the yankees

sister: just checking

sister: and you're dumb..baseball jesus.

me: do not mock the baseball jesus

sister: there aint no baseball jesus

me: there is too dammit

sister: haha

sister: do you have any proof

sister: hrm

sister: hmm

sister: hmmmmm

me: kiss my arse it's FAITH

sister: lol

*sigh* the youth today.

curses and superstitions be damned

2004-10-21T10:11:00.000-05:00

i can't say it any better than the fox. so go check it out and do a happy dance with us.

bliss comes in many colors

2004-10-18T13:42:00.000-05:00

last night it was red. red as in the red sox. i too have been sucked by the mystique that captures all boston fans. it's painful at times. excruciating even. alas it seems to be my lot in life...to pray to the baseball jesus. on the edge of my seat in anticipation and hope only to watch the sox trip over their own bats and fall with a resounding thud back into the curse of the babe.

last night however i was reminded of why i return year after year to the alter of the baseball jesus. i turned on the game as the sox took the plate with a tied score of 4 to 4 against the yankees. i sat fixed to the screen waiting for the trip and fall but instead Ortiz knocked one over the wall. victory...can it be true? as the players rushed the field it hit me...the sox had pulled it off. a celebration dance for the sox and the almighty baseball jesus ensued with much gyrating, arm flailing, and leaps of joy. quite a sight to behold i'm sure. rock on sox.

2004-10-13T10:03:00.000-05:00

because i have nothing left to say today due to my lack of real coffee.

torture in a cup

2004-10-13T09:48:00.000-05:00

i'm forced to drink folgers as there are no starbucks or Dunkies around these parts. i need real coffee. dammit all.

rock on mr. jenkins

2004-10-12T18:31:00.000-05:00

i was reading through an old journal of mine when i ran across a few loose pages tucked within the journal entries. most of the pages are unremarkable and very unblog worthy. however there is a line that follows a bit of poetic rambling that has me scratching my head. the bit that precedes the puzzling line is as follows:

Boxes are emptied. Memories are strewn. I search my mind. Through the cluter I hear a voice. I come to you. I am your strength. I am your endurance. I hear you. I see you. Silence.

Then for no apparent reason the line that has me baffled as to what the hell I was talking about...Mr. Jenkins will be part of history. I don't know Mr. Jenkins but i'm sure he's a fine man. why shouldn't he be a part of history?

the calvary has arrived

2004-10-06T15:48:00.000-05:00

those of you that have questioned my adversion to doctors pay close attention. $50 bucks. that's what i spent yesterday to have my doctor tell me exactly what i had just told him and for him and to write me a script. so essentially i paid 50 bucks for a small white piece of paper with some chicken scratch on it. gotta love the medical system here in the states.

40 bucks. that's what i paid for 14 tiny white pills in a pumpkin orange bottle. you'd think they were selling gold or sips from the fountain of youth.

the good news is the tiny white pills seem like they might just do the trick. yep..this is me climbing aboard the ambien bandwagon. although it might be a bit premature since i took my first pill last night. while it didn't kick in quite as fast as i was told it would i did fall asleep before the sun rose and woke up this morning feeling quite refreshed. almost...and i stress almost...like my old self. i did start to feel what i'm sure the side effects listed as "drowsy" but would be more aptly described as exhausted a few hours later. short nap (which they advise against) and i was good as new. here's to hoping...

seperation of church and state

2004-10-03T01:29:00.000-05:00

well it's more of a seperation of punkin and all the useless crap i throw up from time to time. i've decided to publish a blog dedicated to photo's of punkin to make it more user friendly to those that are only here for that purpose and to save those that are not from suffering through my mushy mommy moments. a word of warning if you're on dialup it does take a few minutes for all the photo's to load and i'm sure that'll only get worse as time passes.

of course this is what's wrong with society...

2004-09-29T15:05:00.000-05:00

our kids are obviously reading too much.

i snagged this list from the silverfox. the book's i've read are in bold. the books i plan on reading to punkin are in italics.

Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
Forever by Judy Blume I never read this, but I remember girls in my 5th grade class passing a dog-eared copy around.
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier Because everyone hates the Revolutionary War? Inexplicable.
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Giver by Lois Lowry
It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Sex by Madonna
Earth’s Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel 'Clan of the Cave Bear' passed through my hands at some point.
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle No greater sin, apparently, than to make children think.
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
The Goats by Brock Cole
Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
Blubber by Judy Blume
Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois DuncanHalloween
ABC by Eve Merriam
We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
Final Exit by Derek Humphry
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead
GeorgeThe Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Beloved by Toni Morrison
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
Deenie by Judy Blume
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein A huge hit in 4th grade. Undoubtedly responsible for the subsequent warping of my fragile little mind.
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
Cujo by Stephen King
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
What’s Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
Fade by Robert Cormier
Guess What? by Mem Fox
The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Native Son by Richard Wright
Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women’s Fantasies by Nancy Friday
Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Jack by A.M. Homes
Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
Carrie by Stephen King
Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
On My Honor by Marion
Dane BauerArizona
Kid by Ron Koertge
Family Secrets by Norma Klein
Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
The Dead Zone by Stephen King
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
Private Parts by Howard Stern
Where’s Waldo? by Martin Hanford Huh?
Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
Sex Education by Jenny Davis
The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

estranged bed fellows

2004-09-29T14:01:00.000-05:00

for the past three weeks i've been entertaining a house guest. usually i limit house guests to 3 to 7 days depending on how far they traveled to see me. my current house guest isn't picking up the not so subtle hints i've dropped that it's welcome has been greatly over stayed. such is the way of insomnia i suppose.

i've suffered with insomnia since i was in my early teens. although until recently it only dropped in for a night or two. i've never been subjected to it's company for this long...not ever. maybe all the crazy hours i kept at work for all those years is finally catching up with me. maybe it's that i'm not working at the moment. what ever it is i'm tired of not being tired when i should be. sunrises are great but i prefer to see them after a few hours of sleep. not when i'm just getting ready for a few hours of sleep.

not so long ago my lack of sleep wouldn't have been such a burden. however, now i have a son to take care of and a move that is long overdue. the hours i've been keeping lately is greatly effecting both of these things. i don't have the energy to spend enough time with punkin as i'd like. thankfully my mom has been more than willing to pick up where i can't. i don't have the energy to pack much less drive 16 hours.

i called to schedule an appointment with my doctor this week only to be told that he was out for the rest of the week and the first appointment was tuesday the 5th. my mom had an appointment with him today...i guess the receptionist didn't think my lack of sleep was that big of a deal. i hope she gets a yeast infection.

i picked up an OTC sleep aide last night. i remembered why i don't take those this afternoon. while i was fast asleep by 11:30 last night, i still didn't wake up til after one today. i don't feel any different than i have the past 3 weeks. i'll take it again tonight and see if tomorrow's any better.

slacking off on the blog

2004-09-19T13:05:00.000-05:00

i've got a little catching up to do. i know. however, at the moment i have to drag my pajama clad body out of this chair and get my self ready for the funeral i'm suppose to attend at 2. it's a little after 1 now.

one of my closest friend's (sam) younger sister (sue ellen) passed away on friday. she was 24 and a victim of lupus. it's not suppose to work like that is it?

sam has seen so much tragedy in her lifetime. i'm not sure how she makes it through the day anymore. her mom died suddenly when she was still in high school. two of her aunts and a cousin were killed by a drunk driver shortly after. her dad passed away exactly two months ago and now sue ellen. it reminds me of how lucky i really am and makes me feel a tad bit guilty as well for all the things i take for granted.

update:

the service was nice, as far as funeral services go. i skipped the luncheon as i was in dire need of a nap. i felt a twinge of guilt over my decision to proceed directly to my car instead of waiting around to say my goodbyes to sam. as it turned out it was the best plan of action. as i had guessed the group that had gathered outside the funeral home swarmed the family as they exited.

i do so understand everyone's need to be comforting and such but there are times when you just have to walk away. get in your car and drive to where ever it is you feel you need to go and let the object of your sympathy gather themselves and their thoughts. for me, there's nothing worse than having to deal with people when i can barely deal with the unsettling event i've just endured. when i need to talk and am ready to deal with life again, i'll call, email, or send you an engraved invitation. sam feels the same way. all she really wanted to do after the service was take her family home and mourn in the silence and comfort of her home. what she did was the polite and socially expected thing...paste on her best i'm not dying inside smile, attend the luncheon in her sister's honor and pretend to listen to sugar coated condolences meant to ease her suffering. i'm not sure i would have been as gracious.

she called me later, after the hustle and bustle had died down. thanked me for coming and not staying. asked me if i cared for any fried chicken as she ended up with the leftovers from the luncheon. told me how she'd called her uncle and asked to speak to sue ellen. caught the confusion in her uncle's voice and said "oh yeah...i was calling to see if she wanted any chicken." i laughed because she needed me too and there is a tad bit or warped humor in calling to see if your recently deceased sister would care for any chicken.

we scheduled dinner for wednesday. i'm sure she'll be tired of chicken by then.

when prayers are answered

2004-09-13T03:34:00.000-05:00

one of my favorite local bands has released another album. i'm thrilled. giddy even as i've been listening to their old one for almost 5 years now. not that it's not still worth lisetening to, it's just there were songs that i had heard them play live that i missed. i'm hoping they might actually have a gig scheduled when i pass through memphis. it would do my soul good to see them again live.

for those of you that have wondered about my introduction and fondness for red stripe, this man is your answer. i wanna be like zack when i grow up.

highlights

2004-09-13T01:41:00.000-05:00

i just thumbed through a book that belongs to the maternal unit. it took a moment for it to register what had caught and held my attention. it wasn't the words. it wasn't the pictures. it was the fact that 80% of it was either highlighted or underlined. i've noticed this in used text books i've bought in the past and was just as baffled then. i mean it kinda defeats the purpose of highlights in my mind. if you go to the salon and the stylist highlights every hair on your head doesn't that make it just a very tedious dye job? if you're going to highlight every word in a book shouldn't you have just bought one with colored pages?

Obesity is on the rise

2004-09-12T02:57:00.000-05:00

...and no wonder. kids are being served funnel cakes for breakfast (yes, i did say funnel cakes.) in some schools. WTF is that about? at the schools i attended the cafeteria meals were decent for institutional food...nothing spectacular but decent. they even went so far as to represent EACH of the four food groups (there are still just four, right? well, there's that fifth one they try to throw in off and on.) at each meal. what food group does deep fried sugar fall into again? oh, yes. i see. it doesn't.

when questioned as to the nutritional appropriateness of funnel cake all the over-starched suit representing the un-named school had to say was,"yes. we serve funnel cake for breakfast. what's wrong with that? it's on the federally approved list." eh? federally approved funnel cake? who approved this list? quadruple bypass clinton??? or the same moron that signed off on pop tarts???

betty crocker and the bundys

2004-09-12T00:59:00.000-05:00

i've been awash in a sea of domesticity lately. perfect pie crusts, pink floweredy curtains, and meals worthy of the magic skillet are much nicer than dealing with the insanity that has engulfed this house. shocking for some of you i know but i was once domesticated.

my family has never been what you would call functional. however in the past few day's they've put the d-y-s in dysfunction. i'm not sure if it's the alignment of the planets or the drop in the barometric pressure but something has caused the familial tensions to rise exponentially. the paternal unit is mad at the maternal unit and vice versa. both units are mad at the youngest sibling. suffice it to say the youngest sibling is mad at the world...she's 12. i can't catch a break from the hostility. even punkin has been wearing his cranky pants more than usual.

i think tomorrow i'll brew up a pot of starbucks expresso roast, grab what's left of my fresh pear and cranberry tart and lock myself in my room with my audrey hepburn collection. a double shot of breakfast at tiffany's, roman holiday, and sabrina just might knock the irritation at all the useless and wasted anger right out of me. depending on what pants punkin decides to wear tomorrow, i might let him in too.

DAMMIT

2004-09-11T13:09:00.000-05:00

blogger just ate my post...bastards!!! i'll retype it later when the veins in my head return to their natural size.

2004-09-07T19:20:00.000-05:00

punkin

2004-09-07T19:19:00.000-05:00

punkin

bush vs kerry

2004-09-07T12:48:00.000-05:00

i don't know about the rest of the world but i, quite frankly, have had it up to here (raises hand two feet above my head) with the election this year. i think it would be so much nicer if we just called the whole campaign off and let the candidates play rock-paper-scissors. best 2 out of three gets to live in the white house and my media is free of the political smoke screens.

i'm raising a bed hog

2004-09-07T10:24:00.000-05:00

punkin is roughly 24" long and weighs >30lbs. i'm 5'3 and weigh...well never you mind that. here's the thing. we sleep in the same bed (i'm sure i'll regret this at some point but that's another story entirely). the bed we sleep in is 56"X72" or something close to that. keeping in mind the size of my son, how is it that i wake up teetering on the edge every morning and my pint size punkin ends up with over 1/2 the bed?

little black blog

2004-09-04T01:05:00.000-05:00

as you can see i've gone back to my basic black look. it was a tough call. i was diggin the microbus and all but after some discussion with mr. monte i realized the black was a touch more me. i know some of you (this means you jm) will miss the lovely shade of yellow (light goldenrod yellow to be exact)...have no fear i'll save it and pop it back up for your viewing pleasure whenever you'd like.

2004-09-03T20:53:00.000-05:00

punkin with a touch of red eye

2004-09-03T20:52:00.000-05:00

punkin

2004-09-03T20:51:00.000-05:00

punkin

2004-09-03T20:44:00.000-05:00

punkin

mediocre isn't such a bad thing

2004-09-01T12:43:00.000-05:00

it seems the fish has been ripped off again. poor gal. i'm suddenly quite content with my handful of readers and the mediocrity of my posts. no one's ripping me off...at least that i know of. if they are, so be it. if they're so hard up for material that they're lifting posts from me, then they can have it. what do i care? there's plenty more crap floating around in my 3.5 brain cells.

addiction

2004-08-31T12:49:00.000-05:00

i've known for sometime that, at the very least, i have a border-line addictive personality. this is almost ridiculous. wonder if there's a 12 step program for CSS addictions.

MIA

2004-08-29T16:19:00.000-05:00

the few readers i have may have noticed that my recent posts have been somewhat lacking in content. the reason for this is simple. i've been busy designing blog templates for friends of mine. i've even gone so far as to set up a blog specifically for this purpose. while they are no where nearly as complex as heather's, the people i have designed them for have been pleased with the results even if i wasn't quite as happy as i would have been if allowed complete control. to each his own i suppose.

boob tube

2004-08-26T22:27:00.000-05:00

some might argue that the television is one of the greatest inventions of all time. personally, i hate it. that's right, i said it. i hate the television. it's a colossal waste of time. call the men in white coats if you feel you must.

doesn't that just beat all

2004-08-26T00:19:00.000-05:00

i spent all that time changing the look of my blog and now i'm at a loss for things to write. surely i didn't use up all my creative energy swapping out a few codes...there's no way that could be it. i've got to start drinking coffee again.

and it gets weirder

2004-08-25T15:34:00.000-05:00

one of the lovely patrons of the fish dug this up on the plagiarist. how bizarre.

the fish has been robbed

2004-08-25T01:37:00.000-05:00

there is a plagiarist among us. she shall be shunned...and, if it was still legal, stoned.

burning crosses instead of bridges

2004-08-25T00:05:00.000-05:00

from the news tonight:

old guy: "i support the KKK"

reporter: "why's that?"

old guy: "i believe blacks should be kept in their place."

wtf is that??? in their place??? i hope i'm not the only one that finds that disturbing.

*this wasn't an old clip.

2004-08-24T16:25:00.000-05:00

punkin.

whew

2004-08-22T00:07:00.000-05:00

it's finished and frankly, i think it's bad ass.. everything's the proper color. nothing changes when you switch pages. the borders still don't appear around the post but that's not a big deal. oh happy day :)

2004-08-21T22:17:00.000-05:00

the lastest arrival to our family...my cousins baby boy.

2004-08-21T22:13:00.000-05:00

i spent many afternoons at this church.

2004-08-21T22:04:00.000-05:00

yep...i'm in arkanasas

the verdict's in

2004-08-21T15:24:00.000-05:00

seems it's not just my browser. guess i'll have to work on that. it's a shame really because the preview is quite nice.

yes...yes...i know

2004-08-21T00:19:00.000-05:00

as a matter of fact i did read my last post. what's the deal??? well it's still under construction. don't worry this hideous look will be short lived. i promise the out come will be worth the trauma your eyes are enduring now (assuming i don't get this finished before anyone other than my favorite techie sees it).

update:

consider yourself lucky. i managed to dispose of most of the hideousness that was present earlier. it's still not quite where i would like it to be but the colors aren't playing nice. if only i were colorblind....

update part deux:

well isn't that a fine how do you do. somewhere between the preview and actually viewing my blog some things vanished. (yes, i did save the changes before republishing.) this blog is going to make me more than just color blind before it's all said and done. hmmm...wonder if it's just my browser...

blog this

2004-08-20T11:29:00.000-05:00

i've spent the better half of this morning clicking the "next blog" button. what i've discovered is this: there's a lot of crap out there. sites with hideous color schemes that make my eyes bleed. sites that make you wonder what they're teaching in schools today as it's obviously not english. sites with cheesy formulas that do strange things to my point and click arrow. this last offense i find truly invasive of my privacy. if i wanted my arrow to be a pink fluffy cloud, then that's what it would be all the time not just when i'm on your stupid nonsensical blog.

the other thing i've realized is i need a new design for my blog. do i like the one i have now? sure. it's fine enough, i suppose. the trouble is too many other bloggers obviously agree with me and if there's one thing i can't stand it's being an individual just like everyone else. problem is i'm clueless as to how to design my own but that's easy enough to remedy as i am literate. while it may take some time, i am determined to educate myself and separate myself a bit from the masses.

wish me luck.

the invisible

2004-08-20T10:09:00.000-05:00

she was here not so long ago, the young girl with the smart wit and the light filled eyes. not today, though. now it's just me, the invisible one, the one with fragments of polish on her toes. the one that is always at a loss for words. no. i don't know where she's gone. somewhere sunny, i would guess, where everyone laughs and worries are few. not like me, left here alone to dress the wounds that are the reality of my life.

a world of voyeurs

2004-08-19T15:01:00.000-05:00

i had a very interesting night last night. sitting in my living room minding my own business and i witnessed a crime in vancouver...odd this thing they call internet. so this morning i got to type up my account of the incident i saw via my friend's webcam and fax it to the vancouver police. i can only image the looks on the officers' faces. "there was an assault on ST George street and our only witness is in arkansas??? WTF????" that's the way of the world today is it not?

to all the would be criminals of the world...wear a ski mask...you never know who might be watching.

click..click..whirrr

2004-08-14T17:17:00.000-05:00

i bought some film for the camera i keep in my car for emergency photo ops. sitting at the desk watching punkin play with his plastic fish, i remembered the film and the camera. no better time than the present to load it up and avoid another tragedy as the night at lucky's. once it was loaded, i snapped a picture of aiden attacking his fish full throttle. click..click..whirr.... oh my, i'd forgotten how much i enjoy the sound of captured memories. don't get me wrong, i LOVE my digital camera with every fiber of my being. however, there's something about taking pictures the old school way that just excites me. maybe it's the noise alone. maybe it's the element of surprise...how they will develop or my favorite stumbling across a half used roll with no clue what's on the first half. i don't know. what i do know is the my trusty 35mm olympus will be getting much more flash time now that i've been reminded. click..click..whirr....

blankets are good for sleeping

2004-08-13T15:13:00.000-05:00

what is the world coming to? after loitering in the bathroom for many years, our educational system has officially landed in the toilet. i grew up in rural arkansas and was constantly amazed at the dumbing down of the curriculum to avoid failing certain students. sure, it makes sense to lower the already basic standards instead of spending the extra time/money to help the few that couldn't/wouldn't make the grade, if you're pinky & the brain.

i'm also old enough to remember when prayer was removed from school. the concept behind this i understand. however, in a society where the majority of students are christian, what's the big deal? ok. so you have a student or two that aren't, they aren't required to pray. it was never mandatory. file your nails, finish your homework, think about ways to convert the infidels...whatever. god forbid anyone should be different and proud of that fact. instead, we remove any activity that implies that someone might have missed the conformity memo.

the struggle for equality and politically correctness has robbed us of one of our most precious gifts...diverseness. yes, we have turned into a cookie cutter nation. it's fine to be different as long as you're just like everyone else.... just ask california, the bleach blonde, implant mecca of the world. the state in which hundreds of thousands of young men and women flock to make millions on their individuality only to be told they aren't enough like so and so or what's his name and cast out onto the street. rejected. odd enough considering the latest proposal for their school systems.

A California school district is considering adopting a new policy that could cause students to be expelled for "rejecting" each other, for sharing "unpleasant stories" about each other even if true or for associating with like-minded peers in groups if others feel "left out."

what ever happened to darwin and his survival of the fittest theory?

pass the hookah

2004-08-12T12:04:00.000-05:00

tuesday i postponed the trip to see QB1. she threatened to "beat me down" if i did it again. i woke up yesterday morning in just enough time to see morning change to noon. groggy from lack of sleep and an odd dullness in my head, i stumbled to the shower where i considered taking that beating since the water was doing little to wash away the fog. driving a little over an hour in the pissing rain in the condition i was in was less than appealing. however after my shower, a diet coke, and an hour of staring blankly at nothing, i decided that the drive might be good for me and aren't i glad i did.

the drive itself was rather uneventful. it did rain quite heavily in a few spots but nothing that required a speed less than 50mph. the radio gods were on my side the entire trip and i managed not to run over the bush that was residing in the middle of the highway. that's right a bush in the highway. of course as i passed it i realized it wasn't so much a bush as a collection of vegetation piled onto a trailer. the old man, that owned the trailer and the truck it was attached to, had had an epiphany. the type that had him outside the vehicle pondering the awesomeness of thought that had just occurred to him. oblivious that he had completely blocked the northbound lane. arkansans...sheesh.

i arrived at QB1's house a little after 3. she gave me the grand tour. we shared photographic highlights of the last 10 years of our lives. bottles of smirnoff ice were consumed over a yearbook and discussion of old classmates. dinner plans were made then changed with a phone call from her husband, mr. QB1, then changed again as we were driving to the nearest starbucks. the last plan stuck and QB1 and i went to procure a table at the restaurant she couldn't remember the name of as she'd never actually eaten there herself.

Garbanzo's hostess that evening was, well...earthy. as she was about to lead us away from the front door to a table somewhere beyond view, QB1 remembered that we were suppose to sit in the bar area (AKA the hookah lounge) as recommended by her friend that had eaten there. we were instructed to walk back outside and enter the next door on out left. so out the door and through the other we went. the center table QB1 had been told about was taken but the tile table with large throw pillows for chairs wasn't. eat on the floor? there was only a moment's hesitation as we considered mr. QB1 and his 6'7" frame before we plopped down on the cushions and made ourselves at home. the menu is middle easternish. we discussed how we should order prior to mr. QB1's arrival...several plates of tapas instead of entrees. when in doubt, sample...sample...sample. QB1 ordered for us a feast of hummus, olives, peppers, stuffed grape leaves , falafel or hushpuppies with a little grass mixed in as mr. QB1 called them, mango curry chicken on slices of french bread, musaqa, and a spinach salad with nectarines, mango, toasted almonds, covered in a blackberry vinaigrette.

mr. QB1 arrived shortly before the food and what a delight he is. he didn't complain about having to sit on the floor...well not much. there were a couple comments about his ass going numb but they were more for laughs than actual complaints. (i like him much more than the troll she married first.) he sampled everything on the table at least once and kept the conversation interesting with his comments on the food, the black spot on the bottom of QB1's shoe (dog poo or tar...never did figure it out), and his version of how they met...over a g-string and a few singles.

the grand finale of our dining experience: the hookah. my pothead friends would have thought they had died and gone to heaven...although the hookah master assured us that it was not worth your while to smoke weed from the hookah. how'd he know that? he's a hookah master. he's required to do research. duh.

after dinner we popped into the german place downstairs where they serve dark yummy beer. not quite like my irish guinness...but close. the bartender was a lovely little man. entertained us with tales of his friends home brewing experiences. if you end up in the neighborhood, definitely drop in.

the next stop on last night's tour...well...it was interesting if nothing else. lucky's (as in lucky if you make it out without paramedic assistance)is nothing short of a redneck karoke bar. the sights i saw and the sounds i heard can not be accurately depicted in words. i went to my car for my camera only to find there was no film. (damn me for not charging the battery of the digital.) so you're off the hook. just know it was entertaining in a torturous sort of way.

woke up this morning before 6am...go figure that one. checked to make sure i still had all my teeth and had QB1 drop me off at my car on her way to yoga.

dead penguin.

as my ears bleed

2004-08-11T11:18:00.000-05:00

in the nesting phase of my pregnancy, i purchased one of those soothing sound machines. thinking if my son was anything like me, he'd be out like a light 3 seconds into the ocean cycle. how wrong was i? in his earlier days, he couldn't have cared less if it was the ocean, the summer night, or metallica. he slept when he was good and ready not a moment sooner.

he's older now and more sensitive to noise. guess the 101 days in the nicu finally wore off. since my family has little consciousness of a sleeping child, i dug the soothing machine out of it's packed for travel home. i tried the ocean setting first, hopeful. when it was clear that wasn't working, i tried the wind. still nothing. it went on like this until i had exhausted all but one option...womb sounds. 3 seconds later punkin was out like the aforementioned light. just my luck.

now, i'm lying in bed at 3am listening to PURR-rump...PURR-rump...PURR-rump...PURR-rump and reliving the day miss meeks made me watch the birth of her child via vhs. it was 3 hours of her next to lifeless in a hospital bed, her useless ex-husband wandering around half-baked as usual, and the most annoying sound i've yet to experience...the fetal heart moniter. AKA sounds of the womb.

i suffered through it then, that nerve grating sound, out of respect for miss meeks but not without making my suffering well known. i suffer through it now for my punkin but he will be reminded of this many times in his life. PURR-rump...PURR-rump...PURR-rump. poor punkin.

antisocial lovefest

2004-08-11T00:02:00.000-05:00

it's official. i'm in love and with a girl no less. pick your chins up off the floor...i'm not switching teams or even straddling the fence. i've found a new blogger and at the moment she's my hero. in one post she's said all the things i've thought and yet never quite had the words to write down and i love her for it.

i shall post the words that sealed the deal and stole my heart. however, i fully expect everyone to go check her out for yourself. make yourself at home. poke around. it's a great site.

I would have to say that I am incredibly easy to get along with as long as:

1. You do not get offended when my life gets in the way of my emails to you.

2. You have a good sense of humour.

3. You don't mind being treated like a human, not the god or goddess you might think you are.

4. You don't insist I change to suit your needs.

5. You form your own opinion based on what you know of me, not what you've been told by the people I've pissed off.

6. You are not emotionally high-maintenence.

7. You understand that I do not say what I don't mean, so if I say I love your website, I'm not kidding...if I say I think you're an ass...ditto.

8. You understand that what my mom always said was true...I have an Irish memory, I only remember the grudges.

9. Don't lie to me or pretend to be what you are not.

10. Love or like me in spite of myself...my humanity/character/sense of self is fragile and fallible.

11 Never expect me to apologise for the person that I am...you may expect me to apologise if I am behaving like an ass. Just give me a day or two to get a grip on myself.

12. Apologise to me when you know you were wrong/dumb/stupid or drunk when you said/accused/yelled bad things at me.

13. Don't even think about giving me your valuable advice or opinions on the content of this web site. I will express myself the way I choose...bottom line...it's my site.

and as an added bonus she's a law & order fan too. so sad she's not a single man.

thank god for cast iron

2004-08-10T14:41:00.000-05:00

i crossed my own picket line today and drove through popeye's. silly me. there wasn't an issue with change this time as i had the correct amount but apparently when the gal asked if i'd like spicy strips it was more out of curiousity than an actual offer. nothing quite like biting into a bland tasteless chicken sandwich when you're expecting a little spice. the strike has been resumed. die fast food chains!! die!!

2004-08-10T13:04:00.000-05:00

he was so wittle... :(

2004-08-10T12:56:00.000-05:00

i think he get's this from his father...

2004-08-10T12:55:00.000-05:00

punkin being eaten by the couch monster

2004-08-10T12:52:00.000-05:00

for those of you that were waiting...sorry it took so long.

the wee hours

2004-08-10T04:09:00.000-05:00

it's four in the morning. i can't sleep. my buddies are all in bed and the food network has been taken over by paid for programming. what's left to do? quizilla of course.

Tomboy

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

Nemesis

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

PASSIONATE LOVER. You love to love, always looking
for a relationship. You cannot live without it.
Your lover must be passionate and you want
that you and your partner melt into each other.
He/She should not try to take the domination .
You dont want a relationship without passion,
and the sexuality plays a big part. The first
moment you meet him/her is one of the most
important. There has to be something between
you , you cannot explain. From the first moment
on everything must fix. But when this passion
disappears you disappear to. For you it is
better to leave than to see your love
restrained.

~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla

dancin with joy

2004-08-09T22:57:00.000-05:00

oh the marvel....

it's not official just yet but i think i've found happiness. i was using photobucket for all my pictures. however i couldn't yank any off the net and post'em. very upsetting. i loaded hello from blogger this afternoon and would you lookie there? a pic from the WWW...compliments of boston.com. i have to practice with it some more before i get too excited over my new toy but i'm hopeful.

in case you wondering about my choice of photo's, i've been sucked in to the legion of red sox fans. it's a happy sort of misery.

update

i was right not to get overly excited. seems some pics still won't post properly. friggin internet.

careful what you say

2004-08-09T16:37:00.000-05:00

my sister has told me numerous times while watching me post blogs and read what others have posted that i didn't have a life. while that might be true enough at the moment, seems she doesn't have one either since she just launched her own site. not that i didn't expect her to...such is the way of those that haven't quite reached adulthood.

10 year reunion

2004-08-09T15:20:00.000-05:00

i skipped my highschool reunion. mainly because i didn't care for the people i graduated with ten years ago and i'd rather go on believing the fantasy i have that they've all grown up as much as i have. sadly i've seen a few of them since i've been in arkansas and i know it's not the case.

on a brighter note, my best gal pal from those days has resurfaced. we lost touch several years ago when the guys we were invovled with couldn't get along. such is the way when you're 19. however, after spending the better part of 2 hours on the phone with her just now , seems like we might be on the road to recovery. we've made plans to meet tomorrow in her new hometown. it's a far better place to grab dinner then the hellish place i'm in now. a few margaritas and stories from the past and present should make for some good ramblings when i make it back here on wednesday.

until then keep it straight.

novelesque

2004-08-06T14:11:00.000-05:00

i sat there on my stool as i had so many nights before and watched him order round after round. always the same...a bud light with a shot of yeger. he always drank too much.

i forget how we met. it was so long ago. maybe it was by chance. maybe not. he talked. i laughed. i liked him as i knew i would those nights before we met. he told story after story always smiling with his mouth. his eyes didn't smile...i notice these things.

night after night we met there. always the same place. always the same story. he'd drink too much. i'd drive him home. we'd smoke on his balcony overlooking the city. we talked about our pasts, about our futures, but never about our present. the sun was usually making it's way over the horizon before we made it to bed. it was what we both needed to be committed without a commitment. i knew it wouldn't last. i didn't care.

it was a month maybe two before i grew tired of us. he knew. i knew. we never talked about it. we'd meet night after night. i'd drive him home. sometimes i'd stay. often i'd leave...walking back to my apartment along the bank of the mississippi river, i wondered how he would take the news.

i sat on my stool as i had so many nights before and i watched him. it was his 12th round of budlight and his 14th of yeger. i drove him home. we talked and smoked. i was leaving for good. my car was packed and parked next to his. he told me he loved me sometime before the sun came up. i knew he didn't. i told him i'd miss him. he smiled with his mouth. his eyes never smiled. i notice these things.

someone stole my ink

2004-08-05T19:25:00.000-05:00

i noticed as i was hacking away at my last post that my color's gone. this isn't a major loss by any means but i did like the pretty shade of pink for my links. i'm not overjoyed that it's not available to me anymore. at least not at the moment. it's been my experience with blogger in the past few weeks that things vanish for a day or two then mysteriously reappear as if they never left. well i'm on to you blogger!!! i know you stole my ink. so hand it back over.

from the news desk

2004-08-05T18:57:00.000-05:00

i was half finished with this post when it disappeared. so now you get the short version. no witty comments. just the facts as published by aol & people magazine. lucky you.

first up: the hacking's story

Hacking also made a show of heading off for the grueling round of interviews that medical schools generally require and begged off social events, saying he was studying for the medical boards. He disappeared for stretches and said he had visited Columbia University in New York City, as well as schools in Chicago, Wisconsin, Vermont, Washington, D.C., and North Carolina. "I specifically remember Lori saying it was hard to pay for the trips," says a member of the University Eighth Ward, their Mormon congregation. "But she said even though it was a financial sacrifice, it would pay off in the end."

It is still not clear whether Mark ever left town or what happened to the money he was spending. His family can only guess why Mark would have constructed such an elaborate alternate reality. His mother, Janet, speculates that a head injury he suffered in his early 20s when he fell off a roof may have made it tough for him to perform as he would have liked in his studies. "He told us only recently that since the head injury he has had a hard time concentrating," she says. "He had to read things four or five times and felt overwhelmed."

next up:
a:the peterson trial

Jurors in the Scott Peterson double-murder trial on Thursday morning were dismissed until Tuesday so that both sides can examine newly discovered evidence that defense attorney Mark Geragos claims could be "exculpatory" reason enough to acquit his client.

b: sob story

A normally stone-faced Scott Peterson wiped away a tear in court on Wednesday, when a hunting and golfing buddy testified about a conversation the two men had about buying their new sons camouflage hunting outfits when they got older.

On the stand, Gregory Reed, whose wife was also pregnant, began thumbing through a catalog and looking at clothes for young hunters, Peterson's eyes apparently began to well up, prompting him to reach for his handkerchief.

His gesture was so brief that some people in the courtroom missed the move.

next: likely story

Nick Carter is speaking out about ex-girlfriend Paris Hilton's mysterious bruises, which she openly displayed for photographers at Los Angeles International Airport on July 29 one week after her breakup with the Backstreet Boy PEOPLE reports in its latest issue.

Although the Simple Life star, 23, and her family have been mum about exactly what happened, Carter, 24, has been put on the defensive, vigorously denying the notion that he is responsible for her injuries.

"I'll tell you one thing: I didn't touch her," the singer told PEOPLE on Monday. "I'm not that kind of guy. I would never do that."

So far, Hilton has declined to press any charges related to her injuries. "I'm doing okay," she said. "I'm just so happy to be single right now."

Drama certainly always seemed to follow the paparazzi-basking Hilton and Carter, whose rocky seven-month relationship ended on July 22, with Carter telling PEOPLE that their romance "totally was based on distrust."

moving right along: peterson III

Scott Peterson's TV-watching habits changed abruptly after his wife Laci disappeared, and then changed again when police raided his house, according to witness testimony in the double-murder trial on Tuesday.

A satellite TV employee testified that 15 days after Laci went missing, Scott began ordering programming that his pregnant wife was said not to have approved of: explicit adult material, starting with the Playboy Channel and graduating to more hardcore attractions.

When Peterson became aware that a team of investigators were being sent to his home on Feb. 18, however, he abruptly cancelled the X-rated satellite channel right in front of the eyes of one of the cops in the house, a member of the Sacramento Valley crime task force testified.

and finally: the pasted on smile finale

Bill Clinton kept up his strenuous book-signing routine Tuesday, topping it off by autographing a copy of his hefty My Life for David Letterman's infant son Harry while appearing on Late Show.

In his inscription, which he read aloud on the air, the former president wished Harry (whose mother is Dave's girlfriend Regina Lasko) a happy 9-month birthday and added: "With luck, you will finish this by your 21st birthday. Meanwhile, carry it around and build more muscles than your dad has."